This morning I woke up and I sat on my back porch swing with my Bible next to me, my ipad playing worship music and my trusty journal. As the Lord and I spent time together, I found myself asking Him where to go from where I am right now. For quite some time, I have sensed amidst the attacks and the frustration that a transition was coming for me, that God was ready to shift me into a time of preparation so that a new season could spring forth in His timing. His timing. I am not afraid to admit that I have been impatient with His timing at times, namely this one. We who know the Lord cry out for His timing and yet many times we want to take God’s timing and wind it forward like the stem on a watch. “Could You possibly move things along, God, because I see where You want to take me and I am ready for it?” But we aren’t ready, hence His timing.
You may be thinking that it not okay to have such a dialogue with God. Maybe you are appalled at the thought of speaking to God this way. Let me just say that being real with God will get you farther than self righteousness and pseudo-holiness ever will. It’s quite all right to be real with God about your frustration. After all, we are His children and He is our Father and real relationship is not always magical and serene. Real relationship with the Lord is raw and truthful and it is in those moments of transparency that God can reach down into the depths of our spirits and pull out the weeds to make more room for the roses in His garden.
I sought the Lord this morning on a matter of direction in this season right now. So many things are getting ready to change for me and for my husband. We are preparing to welcome our first child into our family and our roles will broaden from husband and wife to father and mother.
We are stepping into roles that I dare say we both feel ill equipped to receive, but never the less we are excited for this new adventure and for our little world changer who has been prophesied over by her soon-to-be mother before she was even conceived. Not only are there natural transitions but for quite some time, I have sensed the Lord dealing with me about transitioning from the current season that I had embraced several years ago, a season that I have held onto with both hands and diligent faithfulness. I would hear Him speak to me at times that this season was going to end and although my mouth agreed, my heart refused to let go. Call it pride, call it comfort, call it plain stubbornness, or combine all of the above, but I was not ready to let go of this place that I had inhabited for so long. Truth be told, I was intimidated because in part I knew what laid ahead, a time of preparation for the mantle that God has placed upon my life.
So here I sat this morning with God, seeking His direction and asking Him what to do and as I did He spoke this to me,
“Come sit at My feet. It is time to be Mary and not Martha. Come glean from My Word. Come from the populated riverbanks and deeper into the wilderness with Me. Let go. In order to grasp what waits for you in this next season, you must let go of what you hold onto now.”
I found such peace in His Presence when He spoke this to me. I am taking my hand off of the stem of the watch and letting God have His timing back for my life. I am choosing to rest in His Presence and to enjoy the journey, as I was reminded the other day by someone so precious to me. I refuse to despise the day of small beginnings and my heart and my spirit will be relentless in worship unto the Lord, no matter where I am or where I stand. If you are reading this, I hope this encourages you to understand how much God desires to fulfill His purpose in you and through you. Embracing new seasons requires us to let go of the present and plunge fearlessly into the coming one. God has not forgotten what He promised and we should not forget either. Let go. Two simple words that have set me free this morning so that I can embrace the coming season and simply be where He desires me to be. God is good.