Have you ever had the Lord speak something to you and you assumed that it was going to happen at that moment or the next day or two? I touched on timing in my last post, but I wanted to share one more personal entry before I begin sharing other things that I really believe God has spoken to me. To answer my own question, I have felt that way. I have perceived that when God spoke something to me it was for that appointed time and I humbly admit that I was wrong at times because I did not understand the season or His appointed time.
I mentioned that I am personally transitioning into a new season on several different levels. Spiritually speaking I am coming into a season of preparation for my calling. It was bittersweet to let go of this last season, but I came to understand that transition requires taking a step in faith and being radically obedient to Christ. I thought that God could transition me out of where I was while I clung to where I stood in the moment and it does not work that way. God wanted me to move and to trust Him and to understand that it is not my ministry anyway. I am simply stewarding what God has graced me to do so that His heart will be revealed. So as of my last post, I let go and the moment that I did every weight that I sensed lifted. It was as if I could breathe and I was free to become the woman of God that He has always seen.
So now what? What do I do? I had heard the Lord clearly weeks ago during a prayer service as I paced and prayed in the Spirit in a dimly lit sanctuary amidst other prayer warriors. His words continue to echo in my spirit, “This is where I want you right now, in times of prayer with Me.” I knew that He was not referring to a physical place,but a state of prayer. I knew that I had heard Him and I knew that the season was getting ready to change, but when? I have stated before that journaling is so important in our relationship with the Lord. It is our opportunity to make history with God. There are entries that when I look back on them, I now understand what He meant when He spoke to me. Such is the case here. It is amazing to ponder on God’s timing. His timing is always on time. He never misses it, but we sure can.
Once I had peace about this next season, He led me back to a journal entry from August 8, 2013. I remember what I sensed when I wrote this entry. I was heartbroken and certain that change was coming the next day. I thought I had it all figured out, but I didn’t until now. This entry is coming to pass a little over two years after He spoke this to me.
“You are coming into a time of change and transition. It will feel as if you are demoted, but I am calling you, molding you and equipping you for your assignment. I need to know that you will love Me when no titles remain, no status is visible, no position is yours. You will come to a point of stepping back from the lime light. Separation and loneliness will come, but in this time, although you will feel alone, I am closer than I have ever been. It is time to dig in, My daughter. Fear must go and boldness must rise up in you. Continue to worship Me the same way with the same passion, the same fervency. As you press into Me, I will set My seal upon you and when you are ready to be released, who you once were will not be…lay aside every encumbrance…There is a level of brokenness in Me that you will attain, a brokenness that it will feel as if you are inept and can do nothing. It will be at this point that I will use you the greatest because you can do nothing apart from Me.
I want all of you and I want you to have all of Me, but it will come when you lay aside all else and run after Me. I correct you because I love you and I see you. I see the woman who you know is there but are afraid to be. There are moments and glimpses of who I am calling you to be, but I want your entire existence and not moments. Become who you were born to be and walk in My abounding love and fullness. You have a depth in Me to release. Come with Me into the secret place and I will teach you, anoint you and commission you. Let go, empty yourself and I will fill you up.”
The moment that I read that, I instantly understood that I was standing on the threshold of the very season that the Lord was speaking of two years ago. I am sure that I am not the only person to misunderstand God’s timing and if you have also then we are both in good company because there are men and women of the Bible who had words revealed to them only to die in their faith or to see them come to pass years after God revealed His plan to them. It is amazing how a word spoken a few years ago brought me such comfort. It comforted me to know that I am not just writing random thoughts in this journal that come into my mind, but I am hearing the voice of God. I am conversing with the God of this universe, the One Who knows no time restrictions yet He takes time as I understand it to talk to me and to reveal a portion of His blueprint for my life. He knows me. He knows how to speak to me and how to get through to me. He knows when it is time to stay and when it is time to move on and if we listen to Him, He will let us in on the timing. He confirms His Word and He is always on time. I am so excited for this next season with Him. It is going to be a great adventure in times of prayer and preparation and inhabiting and exploring the secret place as I have fully yet to do. It will be a time of dying to self while birthing things of the Spirit and I am ready. It took two years to get here, but I am ready.