It was a year ago in October that I came out publicly repenting for my time as a false prophet and over the past year, I have received numerous emails from people sharing their personal stories of coming out of specific movements, particularly the NAR/ hyper Charismatic church. It has been both comforting and heartbreaking to realize the island you landed on is also inhabited by others. We are not to be an island unto ourselves. At the same time, for those who have endured difficulty in situations I will briefly describe below, you will understand why I liken it to an island. Though you know God is with you through such pain and despair, the feeling of being alone is almost tangible. And when other bloodied sheep greet you along the way, compassion ensues for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who have come out on the other side with the Good Shepherd guiding them and binding their wounds.

When you’ve come out of these environments because of false accusations, confusion, manipulation, and control, you tend to think you’re the only one going through it and when you hear others sharing scarily similar situations, you realize this is a rampant problem. You can also see your own error in following unbiblical principles and even perpetuating the behavior at times. I do not like throwing around the word abuse or saying it lightly. There are churches where Biblical principles are applied and where leaders adhere to the qualifications for elders found in Scripture. However, spiritual abuse is a legitimate occurrence in movements such as the NAR. It is also something many may not talk about due to shame, humiliation, guilt, anger, fear, or all the above.

Looking back on my own time in this movement, there were red flags over the years, but I was color blind to them. There were instances I had dismissed and forgotten out of loyalty and submission. There were times I defended the ministry and key leaders while people left the church. I too adopted a judgmental and unloving attitude with people at times, and for that, I repent. For those who left without hearing both sides, many were labeled a particular way or with a particular spirit, and it was understood that communication with them was frowned upon and even viewed as dishonorable to the main leader. Social media was suspected and verified at times of being monitored by leaders and loyalists as individuals were reprimanded for not sharing enough from of the church’s upcoming events or for attending a minister’s conference that was broadcast online, a minister which the leader did not like. Posts alleged to be attacking the leadership were met with criticism, judgement, accusations, and even a mob mentality online, and responding to the leader’s comments on your own personal post was deemed rebellious and dishonorable.

Seeing the Flags in Technicolor

Spiritual abuse is defined by this author as “when a spiritual authority, such as a cult leader or abusive pastor, seeks to control individuals and ensure obedience.” This type of conduct can include manipulation, enforced accountability, removing the ability to question the leader, control through the use of Scripture and teaching, required submission and obedience to the leader, and the leader assuming a superior position, such as an apostle. A culture of honor and loyalty is cultivated with an undercurrent of fear in some of these circles. Bully tactics may be used through both the pulpit and social media to talk about individuals indirectly while suggesting that those who come against the leader may face spiritual consequences and hardships. The sheep are metaphorically beaten with harsh words and arrogant behavior while the leader claims to be victimized by those who leave and are ungrateful for all they have done. And while the sheep have felt the rod of the hired hand through messages preached and private conversations laced with false accusations and arrogant rhetoric, they also stand bleating and bleeding while possibly being told by the leader that they need to stop bleeding on everyone and they need to be healed of their rejection and soul trauma.

Do you know why abusive leaders who are not true shepherds berate bleating and bleeding sheep? It is because they do not want to be reminded of the damage done to God’s flock by their rod. A true shepherd does not beat the sheep into submission. A true shepherd is marked by humility and a desire to serve and to follow Christ in that example (Mark 9:35, Philippians 2). A true shepherd of God’s sheep understands proper authority and Biblical submission, and he knows He is under authority with Christ as the Head of the church (Ephesians 1:22). A true shepherd understands that the sheep are not his but they are God’s, and mistreatment of God’s sheep will come with judgment from the Shepherd Himself. Godly men who know Scripture are aware of the qualifications for pastors/elders in the church (Titus 1:5-9, 1 Timothy 3:1-7). If you have been in environments with spiritual abuse or manipulation, be encouraged to know there are Biblically sound churches with Godly leadership adhering to qualifications stated plainly in Scripture. There is good fruit on these trees. There are authentic shepherds who love God’s flock as intended.

He Restores Your Soul

If you are one of those battered sheep, let me give you some words of consolation and offer some suggestions to help you in your healing process. It is okay to bleed. It is okay to cry out and to express the pain. At the same time, we are reminded to cast our cares on Christ. We are to trust the Good Shepherd who restores our soul. He binds up our wounds. He heals our broken hearts. We are to run to God and to follow Him. The full gospel of Jesus Christ is paramount to being whole. Make sure you have heard the full gospel of Jesus Christ and understand the truth of the gospel. Test yourself to make sure you of the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5). It is possible to have not heard the full gospel in these movements or to not have heard it at all. This may seem simplistic, but it is crucial. Eternity is not a light matter. Repent before the Lord for error you may have believed. When your faith is in Christ to save you, you can be at peace with God, and there is great joy in His salvation.

If you have not already, find a solid Bible teaching church to get planted in and to heal. Sit under the teaching of the Word. Read the Word. Study the Word. Ask questions. Counseling with your pastor or a counselor may be of value to you. Talking with a mature fellow believer in Christ is another option. The key is not to isolate yourself. Give yourself time to process and to heal. Deception doesn’t happen overnight and neither does understanding sound Biblical teaching. Forgive those who have mistreated you (Ephesians 4:32). Pray for the same mercy and repentance that God extended to you to be extended to those who teach false doctrine and who are spiritually others. Though we desire to see God’s justice, we also desire to see God’s mercy and redemption at work in others.

Healing from spiritual manipulation and abuse can only be found through Jesus Christ. He is the One who restores our souls and who heals our broken hearts. His Word illuminates the path for us to walk. This healing takes time. It takes patience and good counsel. It takes forgiveness and humility. It takes understanding that God does redeem the time seemingly wasted in deception and false teaching about specific things. He works all things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). It takes mercy rather than personal vengeance. It also rejoices in the truth, no matter how unpleasant and unpopular. Healing is possible, dear sheep. The Good Shepherd has made it so.