Are you under a lot of stress? The answer came out more quickly than I anticipated, and a dam broke as the tears followed suit. I wanted to grab the yes proceeding from my lips and shove it back down deep inside where no one except God knew how weak I had become. Normally, I would reserve my moments of weakness to the confines of my home and in the quiet alone with the Lord and my thoughts. It is humbling to admit that over the past three years, many life changes have taken place, and a number of them have been uncomfortable and frightening to say the least. Aside from leaving a ministry of almost two decades and coming to terms with personal error and false teaching, there was my high-risk pregnancy during the pandemic, my husband’s diagnosis of MS last year, numerous freak accidents, my own personal health issues and mild changes, not including the daily cares of life in staying at home with two young and precious children while wearing many hats as a wife and a mother. It is a blessing with challenges. That is the truth. Something can be a blessing while still being challenging. The key is not losing sight of Christ, clinging to Him in times of stress and challenges and in moments of weakness and frustration rather than to life’s issues.

I do not relish being so exposed, and this is not a cry for pity or sympathy. This is the acknowledgment that my own personal comfort has been afflicted over the past few years, and there are blessings in the affliction that may perhaps encourage another sister in Christ. There have been more tears and fears than I can count, more laments to God and cries for help than one can comprehend. I did not like the display of weakness pouring out of me before a complete stranger as I was preparing to have a medical procedure for the mild dizziness I had been experiencing for the past year. Lying on that table for two hours began a series of events that God would use to bring healing to my soul.

The individual conducting the test was a believer in Christ, and as we talked, we encouraged one another with our faith in Christ, recognizing God’s grace and mercy in personal trials. I left the procedure with good news, and I was thankful for the results while still thinking on all I had shared and my current state. Relief washed over me, but it was short lived, and here is the reason.

I was keeping my cares on life support. As soon as one button turned off a function, such as with a good medical report, I pushed the power button to resume sustaining life on those anxieties. Proverbial tubes were attached for easy access in pulling the cares close to me. I was not casting my cares on God as I should have done according to His Word and trusting Him in the process. I was holding them close and bearing a weight I was not meant to bear, and frankly, my body was responding to the stress and the pain of it all.

I waited a week to speak with the doctor about the test results, and during that time, God provided the answers to my fears and anxieties. He used my husband to gently correct me with the truth: I needed to let it all go. Every bit of it. God used His Word to remind me I cannot add an hour to my day by worrying or being anxious (Luke 12:25,26). He led me to a message about the sovereignty of God, which confronted some of the very thoughts I had pondered. I listened to that message several times being both comforted and convicted, and I repented to the Lord for not obeying Him in truly casting these cares upon Him and remembering His care for me. I had magnified the fears and anxieties of life to where I had fixed my gaze upon them rather than upon Christ. There is a peace and understanding in knowing my hope is in Him, not the outcome. If my hope is based on me getting what I want, then it is no hope at all. God is still gracious, kind, merciful, good, holy, righteous, and worthy of praise and glory, regardless of the situation and the outcome, and He is sovereign.

There are real fears and anxieties we all face. To say that serving Christ and being born again shields us from cares, fears, heartache, loss, and hardship is unbiblical. But we are promised joy the world cannot give or comprehend even in times of fear, heartache, loss, and hardship. We must keep our focus on our beloved Savior. We cannot hold onto these things while clinging to Christ. That is what I was doing, and daily I must go back to His Word and renew my mind with it, focusing on Him. The times when cares come and the weight of them is real, I ask the Lord to strengthen me by His Spirit. When the weight is there because I am holding onto those burdens, I repent before the Lord for thinking I can handle it better than He can. I thank God even in those times because there is always a reason to thank Him, and I remember what my precious Savior, Jesus Christ did and His suffering on my behalf. The greatest outcome most assuredly promised is of eternal life with Him. In Him my joy is complete.

Who knew that all the emotions I had hoarded up in private seconds and minutes over a span of three years would spill out in front of a complete stranger during a medical procedure? Who knew that a message on the sovereignty of God would minister to the anxious places within me, those places where I knew God heard me when I prayed but where I felt alone with my thoughts and cares? Who knew that I was not casting my cares on the Lord with trust, but I was maintaining them on shotty life support? God did. He knew every pain, every fear I had. He saw every tear and every moment of utter weakness, and He has used it to bring Him glory and to perfect me in that weakness. It is a continual process.

Nothing was hidden or has been hidden from Him. He sees everything. He knows everything. It is a comfort, and it is convicting. But it is healing to my soul. The God who created the universe cares for His children. We do not have to feel Him to know this to be true. We are not given the suggestion in the Word of God to consider giving our cares to the Lord. We are commanded to cast our cares upon Him. We cannot throw something with our fist clenched tightly around it. We let go of the burdens which weigh us down and cause us to take our focus off Christ. We trust Him in the proverbial valleys and on the mountain tops of life.

Listen to this latest episode from The Lovesick Scribe Podcast to hear more details about this topic: Casting Cares on Life Support – The Lovesick Scribe Podcast | Podcast on Spotify